Соромлюся спитати - а що таке "ретис"? Зауважу, що "тараканы сразу пасют" я переклала колись навіть з морфологічним аналізом
I’ve had enough news now, thank youOpinion by Alexandra PetriOct. 2, 2020 at 11:10 p.m. GMT+2Either last week, or a day, or 30 years ago (I am not sure exactly which), I thought there might be a brief respite from the news cycle, so I got up to get a sandwich. When I sat back down, the New York Times had obtained the president’s tax returns and Donald Trump had bitten off debate moderator Chris Wallace’s head, having mistaken him for a bat.Now I’m staring at my phone trying not to blink in the hope that I can prevent any more news from happening. I zoned out briefly, and in the 60 seconds when my mind was elsewhere, October surprised me six times. I hate surprises! I do not hate October, but that attitude can change if it keeps this up! I thought it might be safe to take a nap during the interval after the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but when I woke up, Melania Trump had come out against Christmas or something and I had sprouted a long beard full of ninepins.Last night, the news came in that President Trump and the first lady had both tested positive for the novel coronavirus.Frankly, I’m done.Every time I close my eyes, even for a brief instant, something new happens that throws the whole year into chaos. I keep being visited by time travelers from two minutes in the future saying they are nostalgic for this time, right now, before the next thing had happened. WHAT THING? But they only sigh and vanish.These things simply cannot keep happening every day. My fragile system cannot take any more of this. I just want to sit down. Well, I am sitting down, but I want to feel like I am sitting down, instead of feeling what I currently feel, which is that my clenched jaw is on the verge of shattering into a thousand pieces and my tensed shoulders are about to punch a hole in the ceiling.The experience of consuming news in 2020 continues to reach ever more alarming heights of chaos and surrealism. It has been the moment in a film right after someone says, “Well, at least it can’t get worse.” So whoever is stepping on a butterfly needs to stop. I am all set on bombshells.Meanwhile, my own life has been drained of all activity. My personal bar for what constitutes an “event” has dropped so low as to be subterranean. I have spent nonzero amounts of time cheering on the Roomba as it locates its dock. A bird got into the house in March and I am still talking about it.Oh, God, something’s happening, isn’t it? I know it is.You know, put me on that new million-dollar toilet, and shoot me into space. Let the meteor come. Let the waters cover me. I’m tired. I’ve had all the news I would like, thank you. I am newsed out.As a matter of fact, I am nervous that if I look up from this column, something else will have happened, something equally alarming that I equally did not anticipate. I am almost nervous to try to imagine what that might be because my experience in 2020 is that if you jokingly invoke a far-fetched impossibility, it will be the next day’s headline: “The Yellowstone Caldera” — “Six kaiju” — see, I can’t even type any further.No, thank you. Hang a sign on the door of 2020 and let them know I will be receiving no further events. I tried it for a while, this “keeping up with the news of the day” thing, but I think it is a fad that has run its course. History may continue, but I am happy to stand athwart the news cycle yelling, “Stop!.”Maybe if I don’t blink ever again, there won’t be any more news. It is a thesis worth testing. Maybe if I keep typing this column forever, I won’t have to see what the next new is! Stay here with me, where at least we don’t know about the next thing. At least at press time.
хто там ходить по метеликам, час зупинитись
Ви в курсі канєшно шо в мене всюда є свої люди.. Так от щойно пілікає вайбер - хелоуууу май лібе цйоьця ай ем із секретейшон із реджіна ді Вєлікобританія..Курва я стерпла - шо сі стало питаю🤔. Та шо каже - королева вахуї сільнєйшому..Зранє зробила марафет всьо як положено, вбраласі в костюм який тримала на смерть бо ж приїхав сам ВІН ✌️великий полководець і рехуйматор а не тут то було..Цей великий муж не захотів з нею зустрічацця. Ви думаєте чого Уїльям з Катериною так улибаюцця цим двом - просять би зробили аудієнцію для Королеви бо вмре баба так і не побачивши яке щастя має велика і багата Україна🤣🤣
я не певен що це 100% гумор, але я не знаю, як це назвати інакшеі я не певен, що я зможу це добре перекласти, але може дещо пізніше спробуювона класно пишеhttps://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/10/02/ive-had-enough-news-now-thank-you/CпойлерЦитувати (виділене)I’ve had enough news now, thank youOpinion by Alexandra PetriOct. 2, 2020 at 11:10 p.m. GMT+2Either last week, or a day, or 30 years ago (I am not sure exactly which), I thought there might be a brief respite from the news cycle, so I got up to get a sandwich. When I sat back down, the New York Times had obtained the president’s tax returns and Donald Trump had bitten off debate moderator Chris Wallace’s head, having mistaken him for a bat.Now I’m staring at my phone trying not to blink in the hope that I can prevent any more news from happening. I zoned out briefly, and in the 60 seconds when my mind was elsewhere, October surprised me six times. I hate surprises! I do not hate October, but that attitude can change if it keeps this up! I thought it might be safe to take a nap during the interval after the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but when I woke up, Melania Trump had come out against Christmas or something and I had sprouted a long beard full of ninepins.Last night, the news came in that President Trump and the first lady had both tested positive for the novel coronavirus.Frankly, I’m done.Every time I close my eyes, even for a brief instant, something new happens that throws the whole year into chaos. I keep being visited by time travelers from two minutes in the future saying they are nostalgic for this time, right now, before the next thing had happened. WHAT THING? But they only sigh and vanish.These things simply cannot keep happening every day. My fragile system cannot take any more of this. I just want to sit down. Well, I am sitting down, but I want to feel like I am sitting down, instead of feeling what I currently feel, which is that my clenched jaw is on the verge of shattering into a thousand pieces and my tensed shoulders are about to punch a hole in the ceiling.The experience of consuming news in 2020 continues to reach ever more alarming heights of chaos and surrealism. It has been the moment in a film right after someone says, “Well, at least it can’t get worse.” So whoever is stepping on a butterfly needs to stop. I am all set on bombshells.Meanwhile, my own life has been drained of all activity. My personal bar for what constitutes an “event” has dropped so low as to be subterranean. I have spent nonzero amounts of time cheering on the Roomba as it locates its dock. A bird got into the house in March and I am still talking about it.Oh, God, something’s happening, isn’t it? I know it is.You know, put me on that new million-dollar toilet, and shoot me into space. Let the meteor come. Let the waters cover me. I’m tired. I’ve had all the news I would like, thank you. I am newsed out.As a matter of fact, I am nervous that if I look up from this column, something else will have happened, something equally alarming that I equally did not anticipate. I am almost nervous to try to imagine what that might be because my experience in 2020 is that if you jokingly invoke a far-fetched impossibility, it will be the next day’s headline: “The Yellowstone Caldera” — “Six kaiju” — see, I can’t even type any further.No, thank you. Hang a sign on the door of 2020 and let them know I will be receiving no further events. I tried it for a while, this “keeping up with the news of the day” thing, but I think it is a fad that has run its course. History may continue, but I am happy to stand athwart the news cycle yelling, “Stop!.”Maybe if I don’t blink ever again, there won’t be any more news. It is a thesis worth testing. Maybe if I keep typing this column forever, I won’t have to see what the next new is! Stay here with me, where at least we don’t know about the next thing. At least at press time.Цитувати (виділене)хто там ходить по метеликам, час зупинитись
"Бывают дни, когда опустишь руки, Но кто-то тихо скажет: "Hände hoch!"
- Ты меня понимаешь?- Понимаю.- Тогда объясни.
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